Two sweet things: Cupcakes and World Vision

One of the things I love about homeschooling is teaching the practical subjects in addition to academics. In this vein, we are starting a unit study on cooking. After all, a man proficient in cooking is worth far more than rubies. Am I right, ladies? (If you’d like to read the actual verse that I hijacked to suit my own purposes, it’s Proverbs 31:16.)
As a project, the boys are going to sell cupcakes they’ve cooked. The money they raise will purchase items from the World Vision Gift Catalog.

This brings me to another thing I really, really like. World Vision's gift catalog is a great way to involve kids in giving. They can pick various items that, when purchased by your family, go to a need family. This has been really effective for my kids. They like the concrete idea of giving an animal, like chickens, that provides for specific needs instead of just “giving to missions.” Plus, World Vision is a great, trustworthy organization.

The big boys chose one gift each from the catalog. Our ten-year-old picked a share of a deep well. (The well will provide 2,800 gallons of clean water a day to benefit as many as 300 people!) Our eight-year-old selected a goat and two chickens. (The goat provides milk for yogurt and cheese. The chickens provide eggs and more chickens, of course. Any extras can be sold by the family.)

Our goal is to raise $200 (the cost of these particular two gifts) by Thanksgiving. If you’d like to help us, there are a couple of ways to do it. You can contact me about buying cupcakes. (We’ll be selling them one day in October and one day in November.) You can also visit our fundraising website at www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/cupcakes4kids.

Home Study

Our formerly FSU-colored boy’s room has been vacated and now sports light purple walls and sparkly butterflies. The three man-cubs have happily settled back into the routine of being in the same bay. (Sorry, a little terminology left over from our stint in the military.) Definition: Bay (noun)—big, honking space that is good for holding lots of bunk beds. Perfect for a houseful of exuberant boys.

We’ve completed our home study. It was much easier than I imagined. The worker assigned to our case came to our house to point out what we needed. (Like another smoker detector, fire extinguisher, and a small tackle box for locking up our stash of Motrin, Tylenol, and chewable vitamins.) She came back a few weeks later and took photos of our home (interior and exterior) and a host of other things (like the smoke detector and fire extinguisher and tackle box). She never complained or even commented on the slight disarray in the bay. (Please note my sarcasm on the word slight.) Nor did she point out that I’d run out of time to mop the kitchen floor. Plus, she ate the homemade pumpkin bar I offered her. (That’s a true test in my mind. I mean, how many of us would eat food a near-stranger gave you?)

After eight, once weekly, classes and a couple visits from our licensing worker, and filling out enough paper work to make a small elephant’s eyes water, we’re simply waiting for the state to approve our paper work. (Oh, and the health inspector came too—he checked to make sure we don’t have a critter infestation and that our toilets flush…glad to report we passed!) After being approved, we’ll wait (such a fun, glorious word that—note more sarcasm) for a child that meets the criteria we’ve requested. (Each family can specify the age, gender, and needs that will best fit into their home.)

Like I said before, the journey thus far has been far less hassle than I expected. Except for deconstructing the boys’ bunk beds and reassembling them into one room—that was the biggest headache and, of course, backache! Painting the room purple was easy and fun, though, thanks to two amazing ladies who came to help. My hubby glided right through putting together the crib for that room. He’s done it a few times before. (Here’s a side note: the new cribs without drop sides are much easier to put together than the ones we had for our boys. I know that made Hubby happy.)

In all honesty, though, it’s a little strange to have a crib all set up with no baby to lay in it.

So, we find ourselves waiting again. At least now, we’re further down the path.

Types of Adoption

Isn’t life interesting? When I started this blog I expected to journal about the ups and downs of attempting to publish my book. Instead I find myself needing to update you on our adopt journey! Just like the Good Book says—God’s ways are higher than our ways!

I’ve been amazed to find that many people I know are also interested in adoption. This blesses me as the need is so great! I thought I’d share the information we’ve gleaned so far in a brief overview of the types of adoption

Domestic or Private Adoption: This is an adoption that takes place within the States. This type often involves the birth parent choosing whom their child will live with from various applicants. Infants are available for adoption through this avenue. Costs range from an estimated $10,000- $35,000.

Helpful site:
http://www.bethany.org

International Adoption: This is the adoption of a child from a foreign country. The child is usually classified as an “orphan.” Some may come from orphanages and others from a foster family. Most countries require the adopting family to travel to their country at least once. Sometimes, the adopting family must stay in the country for some period of time. The age of children available varies. The gender of children varies. (For example, although China has been known as the country of choice for adopting girls, there is now a waiting list for girls.) Cost also varies by country. Estimates are $20,000-$40,000.

Helpful site:
http://adoption.state.gov/
http://www.allgodschildren.org/

* People often wonder why these these types of adoptions are so expensive. Seems a little like buying a baby, doesn’t it? Actually, the costs add up quickly. There are various filing fees and travel fees and home study fees and legal fees and…more! The costs aren’t fully dictated by the agencies who facilitate the adoption.

* Don’t automatically shy away from these options based on cost. The huge numbers following the dollar sign can be a shock, but there are avenues where families can raise adoption funds, borrow a no-interest adoption loan, receive grants, and tax breaks.

The Steven Curtis Chapman Family has a site with loads of helpful information related to this topic.
http://www.showhope.org/

Adoption from Foster Care: This is the adoption of children who have been removed from their home due to abuse or neglect. These children live with ono-biological families who have been approved by the state to care for children. Adopting an infant from foster care is very, very rare. Although children are taken from their parents as infants if necessary, the goal of the state is to reunite them with their parents. If it becomes evident that this is not in the best interest of the child, the state will terminate the parent’s rights to that child. This process can take years. As a result, getting a baby to adopt is unlikely. Expenses are minimal.

In addition, foster families often adopt the children in their household when the children become adoptable. To adopt a child under eight years old, families will have better chances by becoming a foster to adopt family.

Foster to Adopt: These are families who have completed all the requirements to be foster families, but have requested to only have children who are most likely to become adoptable placed in their home. When and if the rights of the child’s parents are terminated, the foster family usually has the opportunity to adopt the child. Expenses are minimal and are usually related to passing a homestudy. (For example, purchasing a fire extinguisher or crib, etc.)

Foster Care: This is the temporary care of a child who has been removed from their home due to abuse or neglect. It is impossible to say how long a foster child will stay in your home. Foster parents can keep a child just overnight in an emergency or for months or years. There is a huge need for foster families. Expenses are similar to in a Foster to Adopt situation.

Please note that states have a limit of children that can be in the home while fostering. Florida, for example, will only allow 5 children in a home at one time for families who are fostering or fostering to adopt. Also, homeschooling children in foster may not be permitted. Once adopted, families are free to homeschool.

Contact your state’s Department of Children and Family Services for more information on the above.

Another option: Not really in the place to foster or adopt a child? You could sponsor one!

www.worldvision.org

Our experience:
We’re currently looking at a foster to adopt situation. The foster care workers, adoption workers, and case workers have all been helpful and hard working. You’ve probably heard some horror stories about “the system.” We all have. In truth, it isn’t perfect. Still, this can be a good option for many families who want to adopt or just help children who need love and hope.

My advice:
Don’t be afraid to research. Ask around. Send me an email. Contact an adoption agency or the Dept. of Children and Family. There is so much information to digest that you are going to feel overwhelmed. To combat that, devote small chunks of time to your research. Remember that the best way to tackle a huge task is to take it a little at a time!

Most importantly, pray and be open to what God may have for your family!

Thinking about adoption? I’d love to hear from you!

My Friend Guilt

I hope you will all offer a bit of grace with this post. I submit to you that poetry is not my calling or gift. So... we won't call this a poem. We'll say this is just a few thoughts lined up together in pretty rows.

My Friend Guilt

For so long, I’ve been trying to stay just one step ahead of you.
Still I feel your hot breath searing my neck, threatening my calm.
You clothe yourself in all my good intentions,
Exploiting all my insecurities.
We’ve been inseparable; I was blind to your identity.
But I know your name, now.

These attacks aren’t a new profession.
You’ve been perfecting them night and day since—forever.
Lesser and greater children than me have faced your ploy.
But at least, now, I know your name.

I arm myself, now, against your maneuvers
By accepting Grace in the face of accusations,
Recognizing the difference between your voice and my own.
You who were once named after the morning star,
I know your name.

Accuser.

Waiting

We never imagined we’d have trouble getting pregnant the fourth time around. We hadn’t had any problems getting pregnant or carrying to term. Three pregnancies and three bright, beautiful children—easy as pie. It’s not surprising that, after my husband and I looked at each other and asked “what’s a little more noise,” we expected life to progress in similar fashion.

Six months later, we were still waiting. Just before Christmas my husband rushed me to the emergency room where we discovered that I was carrying a little surprise. Just not the kind we were expecting.

Renal calculi. Aka kidney stones. Aka pain and suffering. We quickly had them annihilated, thinking we’d soon be on the road to baby-ville. In April, the stick turned blue. Our family hit cloud nine. Our kids began planning for a little brother or sister.

We never expected our fourth pregnancy to end in miscarriage. I suddenly understood the loss friends and loved ones had experienced after miscarrying. I also realized something about myself that isn’t pretty. I am a comfort eater. No tubs of ice cream for me, though, I prefer Reese’s Cups.

Soon, we discovered that my dance with kidney stones wasn’t over. That, in fact, it would never be over. We also learned that women who form kidney stones are more likely to form them during pregnancy. With heavy hearts, my husband and I stepped off the roller coaster of trying to getting pregnant.

Two years have passed since we decided our family wasn’t quite complete. After much prayer and discussion, we have decided to adopt. Of course, we’re only at the very beginning of what will likely be a long process.

I’ve been challenged during this journey, realizing that I am still learning to trust the Father’s will for our family. It’s nasty business to face the idea that you aren’t as trusting of God as you thought. I’ve struggled with accepting His plan. I’ve struggled to find His will. I’ve struggled to allow Him to work it all out. I’ve struggled and, honestly, I’m not sure I’m done yet.

In the end, we are waiting. Waiting to see what God will do.


"While I'm Waiting" by John Waller
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bb7TSGptd3Y

Chocolate Bonanza Cupcakes

These cupcakes make me feel like breaking into song. The line "a foretaste of glory divine" comes to mind. I won't dishonor the hymn "Blessed Assurance" and it's eternal message by applying it to this cupcake. Instead, I'll say "YUM!" (Thanks to my hubby for coming up with the name for these bad boys: Chocolate Bonaza cupcakes.)

The best part is this: they are cute! And portable!

Well...maybe that is not the best part. They pair chocolate and coffee. And cake and brownie. (And they're easy.)

Here's all you need:
Coffee Elixir Frosting (see November posts).
Betty Crocker cake mix.
Ghiradelli brownie mix.
Self-control. (So you won't eat every last one of them!)

By the way, my friend Karen says that cooking your brownies in a metal pan instead of a glass pan makes them more moister. I haven't tested that yet, but I plan to!

Perspective

There are a handful of places that I never take my kids. (Not because I frequent establishments that aren't appropraite for kinder but because my patience fails.) The post office is one of those places. The other happens to be the library. I know. I know. Kids need to visit the library. They learn to love reading by roaming the aisles and discovering a gem of a book. (Not to mention that I love to read and write...and scour the library!)

I started refusing to suffer through a library trip out of concern for my sanity. I decided some experiences are not as valuable as a mother’s mental stability. Constantly shushing three young boys, six small hands pulling things off shelves, and the disapproving glances of librarians challenged my patience. (I know not all librarians are stern and stuffy, but we seem to find the few that are.) The result was me saying “no more library!”

A couple years passed since I boycotted the library trips. (Don’t worry. We’ve still been reading. My wonderful husband picks up the books from the library for us.) Then, I offered my boys a deal. If they promised to whisper and skip the behavior that previously drove me to distraction, I would take them to the library.

We went. We read. We brought home a stack of books. We had fun!

The point of this post? Well, it’s meant as a bit of encouragement to moms. First, don’t be afraid to skip out on the places or things that encourage your little people to run like pack animals. I’m not saying withdraw from society. Just recognize the places or activities that are difficult for your child to sit though and avoid them. Second, keep in mind that this is only a passing phase. Before you know it, you’ll be taking your slightly older kiddos to the very places you’ve had to avoid.

The best part is…you’ll be sane enough to enjoy it.

Our library happens to be near a building with a glass elevator.

The reward for nice library behavior:

a ride in the elevator.