I have a monster that follows me around—and I don’t even have a two-year-old anymore! Guilt is, for me, an ever-present nuisance. My guess is that I’m not the only parent with this problem.
Honestly, I had no concept of guilt before having children. Now I worry every day about…everything! One of my constant guilt-producers is this: Did I spend enough time with my kids today? (Makes perfect sense, right? I mean, I’m a homeschooling mom. I spend every minute with them. I’m here to tell you—guilt doesn’t have to make sense.)
Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” One definition of “condemned” is to be found guilty. So in other words, “There is no guilt for those who are in Christ Jesus!”
Why not?
Well, Romans 8 goes on to say in verse 2, “Because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”
We’re free from guilt because, as Christians, we have entered into the law of the Spirit of life and are free—free from the spirit of sin and death and the guilt that law brings with it. Verses three and four explain that guilt is meant to bring unbelievers to the Lord. Since we have already believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, we no longer have need of guilty feelings.
So why do I still battle so much guilt?
The enemy of our souls, Satan, is referred to in Revelation as “the accuser” (Rev. 12:10). If you have—like me—watched too many Law and Order episodes, you know that accuser is the one hurling accusations, blame, and guilt.
Satan loves guilt-tripping us for every little slip-up—real and irrational—we could ever imagine making.
However, Satan is a liar! He is not capable of speaking truth. (John 8:44b: “…There is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for there is no truth in him.”)
That guilt that hovers around you and whispers to you at quiet moments—the voice that says, “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not doing enough” or “I’ll never get it right” or…whatever else—is the Accuser trying to make you crack. He wants you focused on what you’re doing wrong, instead of what God is doing (and wants to do) through you.
What now?
God’s Word is your ally. Memorize a verse or two to wield against the Accuser and when he attacks, speak the truth to him and to yourself.
For example, Ps. 31:4 is a prayer that says, “Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you (God) are my refuge.” I also like to change the verb tense and tell the Accuser a thing or two. Like this, “I am freed from the trap of guilt that you set for me, for God is my refuge!”
May we heed God’s conviction and ignore the Accuser’s guilt!
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Thanks from a Softy
I’m a softy. I know my husband would agree, but I think about the reaction my kids had to our World Vision project and I can’t help getting teary-eyed. Thanks to the help of generous friends and loved ones, the boys met their goal...and then some!
To raise the money, the boys manned a cupcake stand during our neighborhood yard sale and sold some of their toys. They went with their Pa to collect and recycle aluminum cans. They helped bake 60 cupcakes, thirty cookies, and a couple truckloads of buttercream! (It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s gotta do it, right?)
As a result, they were able to pour over the World Vision catalog and pick out more things to give! We watched a World Vision video on malaria (did you know malaria kills 2000 children a day?) that tugged on each boys’ heart—mine too! In the end, we raised enough money for 1 goat & 2 chickens, a share of a well, bed nets for a whole family (to prevent said malaria), and two soccer balls for needy kids!
Equally as exciting, the boys are asking to do more to help those in need! Next on our to-do list is Operation Christmas Child!
So often our kids (and ourselves) get caught up in “me” that they forget the great needs of others. Thanks to World Vision’s videos and resources, I was able to show our kids why people can’t just shut their doors and windows to keep mosquitoes out—why they need help from us. Thanks to your generosity, my guys are excited about helping others.
Thank you.
To raise the money, the boys manned a cupcake stand during our neighborhood yard sale and sold some of their toys. They went with their Pa to collect and recycle aluminum cans. They helped bake 60 cupcakes, thirty cookies, and a couple truckloads of buttercream! (It’s a dirty job, but somebody’s gotta do it, right?)
As a result, they were able to pour over the World Vision catalog and pick out more things to give! We watched a World Vision video on malaria (did you know malaria kills 2000 children a day?) that tugged on each boys’ heart—mine too! In the end, we raised enough money for 1 goat & 2 chickens, a share of a well, bed nets for a whole family (to prevent said malaria), and two soccer balls for needy kids!
Equally as exciting, the boys are asking to do more to help those in need! Next on our to-do list is Operation Christmas Child!
So often our kids (and ourselves) get caught up in “me” that they forget the great needs of others. Thanks to World Vision’s videos and resources, I was able to show our kids why people can’t just shut their doors and windows to keep mosquitoes out—why they need help from us. Thanks to your generosity, my guys are excited about helping others.
Thank you.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
Teach Multiplication Without Losing Your Sanity!
Ever notice how we parents only take credit for the fabulous aspects of our children? (Little Timmy speaks three languages! Yep, he gets that from me!) We aren’t so enthusiastic about claiming the more trying sides of our childrens’ talents. (Little Tessa doesn’t like to sit still. She gets that from…her daddy!)
Well in the interest of transparency, I’m hear to tell you that one of our kiddos has trouble memorizing bald facts and…he gets it from me!
This trait becomes a nightmare when memorizing those pesky multiplication tables. (Can I get an “amen” from anyone else out there who cried over learning those things?) Really, I’ve been dreading teaching my non-memorizer the multiplication tables since we started homeschooling.
Then, I stumbled upon Memorize in Minutes: The Times Tables. (Just typing that name is enough to set off rounds of Handel’s “Hallelujah Chorus” in my head!) Similar to Times Tales, this book uses mnemonic devices (sometimes known as funny stories and rhymey words) to help kids remember the multiplication facts. I found it online for $19.99 and figured it couldn’t hurt to try.
When the book arrived, I discovered everything I needed to teach the multiplication facts inside. I simply read the paragraph-long stories to the two bigger boys (a second grader and a third grader) and showed them the silly illustrations. We tackled two facts a day—skipping the easy facts like the twos and fives. We made copies some of the illustrations to color and to make into a reference book (more on that in a minute.)
The result? Without a single flash card—but with some review of the pictures and stories, without a single tear shed—mine or theirs… They learned the times tables!
Easy. Peasy. Lemon. Squeezy.
And of course you know that division is just multiplication in reverse! So Memorize in Minutes: The Times Tables helped with that too.
For those hard to recall facts (like 9 x 6—why is that one so hard?), we made copies of the flashcards provided in the book, cut them out, and pasted them into a notebook. Anytime a boy runs into a math fact he just cannot remember, he looks it up in the notebook. (I’ve found that encourages him to think a little more and not just ask Mom for the answer.)
I love, love, love Memorize in Minutes: The Times Tables. Personally, I think this is a great tool for homeschools and public schools and private schools and charter schools and magnet schools and—well, I think you get the idea.
Sure, sometimes we still have to review. I also have to sometimes prompt them by saying, “What’s the rhyme?” But we made it through multiplication without any gray hairs.
There goes the “Hallelujah Chorus” again.
Links to research:
For Memorize in Minutes:
www.multiplication.com
For higher level math (I've never used this, but I've heard it's similar to Memorize in Minutes.):
http://lifeoffredmath.com/
Well in the interest of transparency, I’m hear to tell you that one of our kiddos has trouble memorizing bald facts and…he gets it from me!
This trait becomes a nightmare when memorizing those pesky multiplication tables. (Can I get an “amen” from anyone else out there who cried over learning those things?) Really, I’ve been dreading teaching my non-memorizer the multiplication tables since we started homeschooling.
Then, I stumbled upon Memorize in Minutes: The Times Tables. (Just typing that name is enough to set off rounds of Handel’s “Hallelujah Chorus” in my head!) Similar to Times Tales, this book uses mnemonic devices (sometimes known as funny stories and rhymey words) to help kids remember the multiplication facts. I found it online for $19.99 and figured it couldn’t hurt to try.
When the book arrived, I discovered everything I needed to teach the multiplication facts inside. I simply read the paragraph-long stories to the two bigger boys (a second grader and a third grader) and showed them the silly illustrations. We tackled two facts a day—skipping the easy facts like the twos and fives. We made copies some of the illustrations to color and to make into a reference book (more on that in a minute.)
The result? Without a single flash card—but with some review of the pictures and stories, without a single tear shed—mine or theirs… They learned the times tables!
Easy. Peasy. Lemon. Squeezy.
And of course you know that division is just multiplication in reverse! So Memorize in Minutes: The Times Tables helped with that too.
For those hard to recall facts (like 9 x 6—why is that one so hard?), we made copies of the flashcards provided in the book, cut them out, and pasted them into a notebook. Anytime a boy runs into a math fact he just cannot remember, he looks it up in the notebook. (I’ve found that encourages him to think a little more and not just ask Mom for the answer.)
I love, love, love Memorize in Minutes: The Times Tables. Personally, I think this is a great tool for homeschools and public schools and private schools and charter schools and magnet schools and—well, I think you get the idea.
Sure, sometimes we still have to review. I also have to sometimes prompt them by saying, “What’s the rhyme?” But we made it through multiplication without any gray hairs.
There goes the “Hallelujah Chorus” again.
Links to research:
For Memorize in Minutes:
www.multiplication.com
For higher level math (I've never used this, but I've heard it's similar to Memorize in Minutes.):
http://lifeoffredmath.com/
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
Two sweet things: Cupcakes and World Vision
One of the things I love about homeschooling is teaching the practical subjects in addition to academics. In this vein, we are starting a unit study on cooking. After all, a man proficient in cooking is worth far more than rubies. Am I right, ladies? (If you’d like to read the actual verse that I hijacked to suit my own purposes, it’s Proverbs 31:16.) 
As a project, the boys are going to sell cupcakes they’ve cooked. The money they raise will purchase items from the World Vision Gift Catalog.
This brings me to another thing I really, really like. World Vision's gift catalog is a great way to involve kids in giving. They can pick various items that, when purchased by your family, go to a need family. This has been really effective for my kids. They like the concrete idea of giving an animal, like chickens, that provides for specific needs instead of just “giving to missions.” Plus, World Vision is a great, trustworthy organization.
The big boys chose one gift each from the catalog. Our ten-year-old picked a share of a deep well. (The well will provide 2,800 gallons of clean water a day to benefit as many as 300 people!) Our eight-year-old selected a goat and two chickens. (The goat provides milk for yogurt and cheese. The chickens provide eggs and more chickens, of course. Any extras can be sold by the family.)
Our goal is to raise $200 (the cost of these particular two gifts) by Thanksgiving. If you’d like to help us, there are a couple of ways to do it. You can contact me about buying cupcakes. (We’ll be selling them one day in October and one day in November.) You can also visit our fundraising website at www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/cupcakes4kids.
As a project, the boys are going to sell cupcakes they’ve cooked. The money they raise will purchase items from the World Vision Gift Catalog.
This brings me to another thing I really, really like. World Vision's gift catalog is a great way to involve kids in giving. They can pick various items that, when purchased by your family, go to a need family. This has been really effective for my kids. They like the concrete idea of giving an animal, like chickens, that provides for specific needs instead of just “giving to missions.” Plus, World Vision is a great, trustworthy organization.
The big boys chose one gift each from the catalog. Our ten-year-old picked a share of a deep well. (The well will provide 2,800 gallons of clean water a day to benefit as many as 300 people!) Our eight-year-old selected a goat and two chickens. (The goat provides milk for yogurt and cheese. The chickens provide eggs and more chickens, of course. Any extras can be sold by the family.)
Our goal is to raise $200 (the cost of these particular two gifts) by Thanksgiving. If you’d like to help us, there are a couple of ways to do it. You can contact me about buying cupcakes. (We’ll be selling them one day in October and one day in November.) You can also visit our fundraising website at www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/cupcakes4kids.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Home Study
Our formerly FSU-colored boy’s room has been vacated and now sports light purple walls and sparkly butterflies. The three man-cubs have happily settled back into the routine of being in the same bay. (Sorry, a little terminology left over from our stint in the military.) Definition: Bay (noun)—big, honking space that is good for holding lots of bunk beds. Perfect for a houseful of exuberant boys.
We’ve completed our home study. It was much easier than I imagined. The worker assigned to our case came to our house to point out what we needed. (Like another smoker detector, fire extinguisher, and a small tackle box for locking up our stash of Motrin, Tylenol, and chewable vitamins.) She came back a few weeks later and took photos of our home (interior and exterior) and a host of other things (like the smoke detector and fire extinguisher and tackle box). She never complained or even commented on the slight disarray in the bay. (Please note my sarcasm on the word slight.) Nor did she point out that I’d run out of time to mop the kitchen floor. Plus, she ate the homemade pumpkin bar I offered her. (That’s a true test in my mind. I mean, how many of us would eat food a near-stranger gave you?)
After eight, once weekly, classes and a couple visits from our licensing worker, and filling out enough paper work to make a small elephant’s eyes water, we’re simply waiting for the state to approve our paper work. (Oh, and the health inspector came too—he checked to make sure we don’t have a critter infestation and that our toilets flush…glad to report we passed!) After being approved, we’ll wait (such a fun, glorious word that—note more sarcasm) for a child that meets the criteria we’ve requested. (Each family can specify the age, gender, and needs that will best fit into their home.)
Like I said before, the journey thus far has been far less hassle than I expected. Except for deconstructing the boys’ bunk beds and reassembling them into one room—that was the biggest headache and, of course, backache! Painting the room purple was easy and fun, though, thanks to two amazing ladies who came to help. My hubby glided right through putting together the crib for that room. He’s done it a few times before. (Here’s a side note: the new cribs without drop sides are much easier to put together than the ones we had for our boys. I know that made Hubby happy.)
In all honesty, though, it’s a little strange to have a crib all set up with no baby to lay in it.
So, we find ourselves waiting again. At least now, we’re further down the path.
We’ve completed our home study. It was much easier than I imagined. The worker assigned to our case came to our house to point out what we needed. (Like another smoker detector, fire extinguisher, and a small tackle box for locking up our stash of Motrin, Tylenol, and chewable vitamins.) She came back a few weeks later and took photos of our home (interior and exterior) and a host of other things (like the smoke detector and fire extinguisher and tackle box). She never complained or even commented on the slight disarray in the bay. (Please note my sarcasm on the word slight.) Nor did she point out that I’d run out of time to mop the kitchen floor. Plus, she ate the homemade pumpkin bar I offered her. (That’s a true test in my mind. I mean, how many of us would eat food a near-stranger gave you?)
After eight, once weekly, classes and a couple visits from our licensing worker, and filling out enough paper work to make a small elephant’s eyes water, we’re simply waiting for the state to approve our paper work. (Oh, and the health inspector came too—he checked to make sure we don’t have a critter infestation and that our toilets flush…glad to report we passed!) After being approved, we’ll wait (such a fun, glorious word that—note more sarcasm) for a child that meets the criteria we’ve requested. (Each family can specify the age, gender, and needs that will best fit into their home.)
Like I said before, the journey thus far has been far less hassle than I expected. Except for deconstructing the boys’ bunk beds and reassembling them into one room—that was the biggest headache and, of course, backache! Painting the room purple was easy and fun, though, thanks to two amazing ladies who came to help. My hubby glided right through putting together the crib for that room. He’s done it a few times before. (Here’s a side note: the new cribs without drop sides are much easier to put together than the ones we had for our boys. I know that made Hubby happy.)
In all honesty, though, it’s a little strange to have a crib all set up with no baby to lay in it.
So, we find ourselves waiting again. At least now, we’re further down the path.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Types of Adoption
Isn’t life interesting? When I started this blog I expected to journal about the ups and downs of attempting to publish my book. Instead I find myself needing to update you on our adopt journey! Just like the Good Book says—God’s ways are higher than our ways!
I’ve been amazed to find that many people I know are also interested in adoption. This blesses me as the need is so great! I thought I’d share the information we’ve gleaned so far in a brief overview of the types of adoption
Domestic or Private Adoption: This is an adoption that takes place within the States. This type often involves the birth parent choosing whom their child will live with from various applicants. Infants are available for adoption through this avenue. Costs range from an estimated $10,000- $35,000.
Helpful site:
http://www.bethany.org
International Adoption: This is the adoption of a child from a foreign country. The child is usually classified as an “orphan.” Some may come from orphanages and others from a foster family. Most countries require the adopting family to travel to their country at least once. Sometimes, the adopting family must stay in the country for some period of time. The age of children available varies. The gender of children varies. (For example, although China has been known as the country of choice for adopting girls, there is now a waiting list for girls.) Cost also varies by country. Estimates are $20,000-$40,000.
Helpful site:
http://adoption.state.gov/
http://www.allgodschildren.org/
* People often wonder why these these types of adoptions are so expensive. Seems a little like buying a baby, doesn’t it? Actually, the costs add up quickly. There are various filing fees and travel fees and home study fees and legal fees and…more! The costs aren’t fully dictated by the agencies who facilitate the adoption.
* Don’t automatically shy away from these options based on cost. The huge numbers following the dollar sign can be a shock, but there are avenues where families can raise adoption funds, borrow a no-interest adoption loan, receive grants, and tax breaks.
The Steven Curtis Chapman Family has a site with loads of helpful information related to this topic.
http://www.showhope.org/
Adoption from Foster Care: This is the adoption of children who have been removed from their home due to abuse or neglect. These children live with ono-biological families who have been approved by the state to care for children. Adopting an infant from foster care is very, very rare. Although children are taken from their parents as infants if necessary, the goal of the state is to reunite them with their parents. If it becomes evident that this is not in the best interest of the child, the state will terminate the parent’s rights to that child. This process can take years. As a result, getting a baby to adopt is unlikely. Expenses are minimal.
In addition, foster families often adopt the children in their household when the children become adoptable. To adopt a child under eight years old, families will have better chances by becoming a foster to adopt family.
Foster to Adopt: These are families who have completed all the requirements to be foster families, but have requested to only have children who are most likely to become adoptable placed in their home. When and if the rights of the child’s parents are terminated, the foster family usually has the opportunity to adopt the child. Expenses are minimal and are usually related to passing a homestudy. (For example, purchasing a fire extinguisher or crib, etc.)
Foster Care: This is the temporary care of a child who has been removed from their home due to abuse or neglect. It is impossible to say how long a foster child will stay in your home. Foster parents can keep a child just overnight in an emergency or for months or years. There is a huge need for foster families. Expenses are similar to in a Foster to Adopt situation.
Please note that states have a limit of children that can be in the home while fostering. Florida, for example, will only allow 5 children in a home at one time for families who are fostering or fostering to adopt. Also, homeschooling children in foster may not be permitted. Once adopted, families are free to homeschool.
Contact your state’s Department of Children and Family Services for more information on the above.
Another option: Not really in the place to foster or adopt a child? You could sponsor one!
www.worldvision.org
Our experience:
We’re currently looking at a foster to adopt situation. The foster care workers, adoption workers, and case workers have all been helpful and hard working. You’ve probably heard some horror stories about “the system.” We all have. In truth, it isn’t perfect. Still, this can be a good option for many families who want to adopt or just help children who need love and hope.
My advice:
Don’t be afraid to research. Ask around. Send me an email. Contact an adoption agency or the Dept. of Children and Family. There is so much information to digest that you are going to feel overwhelmed. To combat that, devote small chunks of time to your research. Remember that the best way to tackle a huge task is to take it a little at a time!
Most importantly, pray and be open to what God may have for your family!
Thinking about adoption? I’d love to hear from you!
I’ve been amazed to find that many people I know are also interested in adoption. This blesses me as the need is so great! I thought I’d share the information we’ve gleaned so far in a brief overview of the types of adoption
Domestic or Private Adoption: This is an adoption that takes place within the States. This type often involves the birth parent choosing whom their child will live with from various applicants. Infants are available for adoption through this avenue. Costs range from an estimated $10,000- $35,000.
Helpful site:
http://www.bethany.org
International Adoption: This is the adoption of a child from a foreign country. The child is usually classified as an “orphan.” Some may come from orphanages and others from a foster family. Most countries require the adopting family to travel to their country at least once. Sometimes, the adopting family must stay in the country for some period of time. The age of children available varies. The gender of children varies. (For example, although China has been known as the country of choice for adopting girls, there is now a waiting list for girls.) Cost also varies by country. Estimates are $20,000-$40,000.
Helpful site:
http://adoption.state.gov/
http://www.allgodschildren.org/
* People often wonder why these these types of adoptions are so expensive. Seems a little like buying a baby, doesn’t it? Actually, the costs add up quickly. There are various filing fees and travel fees and home study fees and legal fees and…more! The costs aren’t fully dictated by the agencies who facilitate the adoption.
* Don’t automatically shy away from these options based on cost. The huge numbers following the dollar sign can be a shock, but there are avenues where families can raise adoption funds, borrow a no-interest adoption loan, receive grants, and tax breaks.
The Steven Curtis Chapman Family has a site with loads of helpful information related to this topic.
http://www.showhope.org/
Adoption from Foster Care: This is the adoption of children who have been removed from their home due to abuse or neglect. These children live with ono-biological families who have been approved by the state to care for children. Adopting an infant from foster care is very, very rare. Although children are taken from their parents as infants if necessary, the goal of the state is to reunite them with their parents. If it becomes evident that this is not in the best interest of the child, the state will terminate the parent’s rights to that child. This process can take years. As a result, getting a baby to adopt is unlikely. Expenses are minimal.
In addition, foster families often adopt the children in their household when the children become adoptable. To adopt a child under eight years old, families will have better chances by becoming a foster to adopt family.
Foster to Adopt: These are families who have completed all the requirements to be foster families, but have requested to only have children who are most likely to become adoptable placed in their home. When and if the rights of the child’s parents are terminated, the foster family usually has the opportunity to adopt the child. Expenses are minimal and are usually related to passing a homestudy. (For example, purchasing a fire extinguisher or crib, etc.)
Foster Care: This is the temporary care of a child who has been removed from their home due to abuse or neglect. It is impossible to say how long a foster child will stay in your home. Foster parents can keep a child just overnight in an emergency or for months or years. There is a huge need for foster families. Expenses are similar to in a Foster to Adopt situation.
Please note that states have a limit of children that can be in the home while fostering. Florida, for example, will only allow 5 children in a home at one time for families who are fostering or fostering to adopt. Also, homeschooling children in foster may not be permitted. Once adopted, families are free to homeschool.
Contact your state’s Department of Children and Family Services for more information on the above.
Another option: Not really in the place to foster or adopt a child? You could sponsor one!
www.worldvision.org
Our experience:
We’re currently looking at a foster to adopt situation. The foster care workers, adoption workers, and case workers have all been helpful and hard working. You’ve probably heard some horror stories about “the system.” We all have. In truth, it isn’t perfect. Still, this can be a good option for many families who want to adopt or just help children who need love and hope.
My advice:
Don’t be afraid to research. Ask around. Send me an email. Contact an adoption agency or the Dept. of Children and Family. There is so much information to digest that you are going to feel overwhelmed. To combat that, devote small chunks of time to your research. Remember that the best way to tackle a huge task is to take it a little at a time!
Most importantly, pray and be open to what God may have for your family!
Thinking about adoption? I’d love to hear from you!
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
My Friend Guilt
I hope you will all offer a bit of grace with this post. I submit to you that poetry is not my calling or gift. So... we won't call this a poem. We'll say this is just a few thoughts lined up together in pretty rows.
My Friend Guilt
For so long, I’ve been trying to stay just one step ahead of you.
Still I feel your hot breath searing my neck, threatening my calm.
You clothe yourself in all my good intentions,
Exploiting all my insecurities.
We’ve been inseparable; I was blind to your identity.
But I know your name, now.
These attacks aren’t a new profession.
You’ve been perfecting them night and day since—forever.
Lesser and greater children than me have faced your ploy.
But at least, now, I know your name.
I arm myself, now, against your maneuvers
By accepting Grace in the face of accusations,
Recognizing the difference between your voice and my own.
You who were once named after the morning star,
I know your name.
Accuser.
My Friend Guilt
For so long, I’ve been trying to stay just one step ahead of you.
Still I feel your hot breath searing my neck, threatening my calm.
You clothe yourself in all my good intentions,
Exploiting all my insecurities.
We’ve been inseparable; I was blind to your identity.
But I know your name, now.
These attacks aren’t a new profession.
You’ve been perfecting them night and day since—forever.
Lesser and greater children than me have faced your ploy.
But at least, now, I know your name.
I arm myself, now, against your maneuvers
By accepting Grace in the face of accusations,
Recognizing the difference between your voice and my own.
You who were once named after the morning star,
I know your name.
Accuser.
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