Thrill Rides

Anyone else feel parenting is similar to riding a ninety mile an hour roller coaster where you try to recognize and grab teachable moments before you are onto something else? If so, welcome to our thrill ride!

Up next on our roller coaster journey is Legalism Curve and it can really throw you for a loop. (Too much?) Anyway…

Honestly, our family has a lot of rules. We’re very particular about what we listen to and participate in and watch. Our kids says that we’re over-protective and, of course, they’re right. There is just so much out there to say “no” to. Often, though, we get caught thinking that rules equal Godliness and that is not always the case.

This tendency became painfully important to our family when one of the kiddos told me, “I don’t want to have TOO much God.” I responded quickly that you could never get too much God. As the conversation continued, I realized my son was equating Godliness with legalism. A friend of his is very legalistic and follows –gasp—more rules that we do! In my son’s mind loving God meant following every rule known to man…and then some!  He wanted no part of that.

I began trying to explain my position while sprinkling in liberal amounts of grace. For example, I say to my son that Dad and I have decided that our family will not watch movies that are rated R. Mature videos games are also out. We believe that when you sew violence, immodesty, and vulgarity into your life that is what you reap. However, not all Christians follow this. That is between them and God. We have to answer for our choices. They have to answer for their’s.

I further explained that this room-for-gray method does not apply to all life decisions. In instances where the Bible clearly depicts an action or decision as being sin, Christians must also call those things sin.

We’ve been memorizing James 1:27 for the perspective it gives on who God sees as holy. “Here are the kinds of beliefs that God our Father accepts as pure. When widows and orphans are in trouble, take care of them. And keep yourselves from being polluted by the world.”

Matthew 23 finds Jesus passionately speaking on this same topic. He accuses the religious leaders of slamming heaven’s door in people’s faces with their fake righteousness. Matthew 23:25 says in part, “You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside (you) are full of greed and self-indulgence.” Jesus also likens them to white-painted tombs—pretty on the outside, but full of decay inside.

The concept of legalism can be difficult to distill into child-sized nuggets. Still, we must do it. It is imperative that we teach our children not to heap a religion of do’s and don’t’s on themselves or on others. Perhaps, as parents, the first step is to evaluate our own beliefs and see which are clearly Biblical and which one we have scripted in ourselves.

Remember that extra bulk equals weight. Heavy loads can crush our children and their faith—a nd even their friends’—beneath a load of good intentions. 

Jesus’ words still resonate: “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30)