Anyone else feel parenting is similar to riding a ninety
mile an hour roller coaster where you try to recognize and grab teachable
moments before you are onto something else? If so, welcome to our thrill ride!
Up next on our roller coaster journey is Legalism Curve and
it can really throw you for a loop. (Too much?) Anyway…
Honestly, our family has a lot of rules. We’re very
particular about what we listen to and participate in and watch. Our kids says
that we’re over-protective and, of course, they’re right. There is just so much
out there to say “no” to. Often, though, we get caught thinking that rules
equal Godliness and that is not always the case.
This tendency became painfully important to our family when one
of the kiddos told me, “I don’t want to have TOO much God.” I responded quickly
that you could never get too much God. As the conversation continued, I
realized my son was equating Godliness with legalism. A friend of his is very
legalistic and follows –gasp—more rules that we do! In my son’s mind loving God
meant following every rule known to man…and then some! He wanted no part of that.
I began trying to explain my position while sprinkling in
liberal amounts of grace. For example, I say to my son that Dad and I have
decided that our family will not watch movies that are rated R. Mature videos
games are also out. We believe that when you sew violence, immodesty, and
vulgarity into your life that is what you reap. However, not all Christians
follow this. That is between them and God. We have to answer for our choices.
They have to answer for their’s.
I further explained that this room-for-gray method does not
apply to all life decisions. In instances where the Bible clearly depicts an
action or decision as being sin, Christians must also call those things sin.
We’ve been memorizing James 1:27 for the perspective it
gives on who God sees as holy. “Here are the kinds of beliefs that God our
Father accepts as pure. When widows and orphans are in trouble, take care of
them. And keep yourselves from being polluted by the world.”
Matthew 23 finds Jesus passionately speaking on this same
topic. He accuses the religious leaders of slamming heaven’s door in people’s
faces with their fake righteousness. Matthew 23:25 says in part, “You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside (you) are full
of greed and self-indulgence.” Jesus also likens them to white-painted
tombs—pretty on the outside, but full of decay inside.
The concept of legalism can be difficult to distill
into child-sized nuggets. Still, we must do it. It is imperative that we teach
our children not to heap a religion of do’s and don’t’s on themselves or on
others. Perhaps, as parents, the first step is to evaluate our own beliefs and
see which are clearly Biblical and which one we have scripted in ourselves.
Remember that extra bulk equals weight.
Heavy loads can crush our children and their faith—a nd even their friends’—beneath
a load of good intentions.
Jesus’ words still resonate: “My yoke is easy and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:30)
