What Mothers of Boys Want Girls to Know

** I added another one to the bottom! See #7!

Several years ago, I started thinking about the things I thought girls needed to learn. At the time, I had only boys and thought I could offer interesting perspective. Kinda of a “what mothers of boys wish girls knew” manifesto.  Now that I have a little girl as well, we’ve been adding to our list of things we want to teach her as she gets older. Here are the top things that I feel every girl should know.

 

1.       Love Jesus.

2.       Learn to enjoy frivolous things without becoming  someone consumed by frivolity.  (Hair, make up, shoes, clothes, glitz, and glamour are fun to enjoy, but when all-consuming are just another idol.)

3.    Only advertise what is on sale. (For example, I spoke with a young woman who was dressed in a very low cut top. While we were speaking, a man came up to flirt with her. I could tell by her response that his advances were unwelcome. She later implied that she didn’t know why men kept behaving in this way. Unwittingly, she had hung an AVAILABLE sign on herself. Men are very visual—we’ve heard that before.  God made them that way! Just remember to dress in a way that offers the merchandise you actually want to offer. If it ain’t for sale…don’t advertise it!) *Mothers, start this practice while your daughter is a baby! Don’t dress her like a prostitute now and be surprised when she continues the trend as a teen!

4.     Modesty isn’t just for clothes. The most attractive woman is one who has a sweet spirit. Cultivate compassion. Learn to not seek the attention of others.

5.     Shake hands. This one is practical and concrete. Please remember that boys struggle with things, just like girls do. Cut guys a break every now and then. They have enough trouble concentrating when girls are around without you snuggling up to them! Greet your male friends with a hand shake or a high five. Skip the hugs—even if you don’t like them “in that way."

 

6.   Love Jesus. Place yourself under Godly authority. Seek Him with all your heart. (Sure, it's the same as the first, but it is worth repeating!)

7. Be careful who you spend time with. You will carry a part of them with you...forever.

 

 

 

Worth it All: The Lesson I Learned from College Bound Monsters

Spoiler Warning: Due to my being something of a ditz and having a serious case of Mommy Brain, this post may take a circuitous route from point A to point B. Stick with it, though, I promise—it’ll be worth it!

I took my first grader to see Monster’s Inc.  Just the two of us! (We enjoyed getting to spend time together, but we not the movie. It was blah at best and a bore fest at worst. I was expecting it to be, you know, funny like Despicable Me 2. Love those Minions! It was not. It really wasn’t. As in I’ll-never-get-those-two-hours-back kind of not funny.)

Okay, I’m off that sidetrack, but I can’t promise it’ll be the last one. Remember, you were warned!

One good thing did happen in the movie!

The only one, if you ask me.

The Holy Spirit brought a verse to my mind.

Don’t you love how God can use any vehicle to deliver His message?

Here’s the verse:  Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. (1 Timothy 4:12)

I felt led to apply this verse a bit more , uh, generously.

(Don’t worry , I already spoke with my hubby who won’t stomach  straying from the Word’s original intent and he agreed that what I’m about to tell you is in line with the spirit of what Paul wrote. Of course, I sprung it on him late one evening and he may have just agreed with me so I’d let him sleep.)

Here it is: Paul is writing to Timothy to encourage him. To encourage him, despite his situation, to still be an example of Christ. To still do what God had called him to do in ministry and in everyday life.

Don’t let people look down on you. Even if you are young. Even if you are old. Even if you are carrying around an extra ten pounds. Or one hundred. Don’t let people look down on you when your child has turned from the faith. Or your spouse from your arms.  Don’t let people look down on you as you recover from your own bad choices. Or if you’re struggling to … (fill in the blank!)

You can still be an example for others. You keep clinging to the Lord. Keep living your faith. It’s going to be worth it.

More

Boxes are nice. They’re cube-ish with all those pointy corners. That delightful shade of cardboard brown. They are so sturdy. And just the right size for storing whatever we put inside. Like out of season clothes, clutter, gifts. Or God.

 Sometimes, though, we find ourselves breathlessly at a precipice, toes just off the edge. We attempt to scramble backward toward solid ground while crying out, “Father, if you do not intervene—all is lost!” In this moment, realization screams through our consciousness. We need more. More than cardboard. More than corners. We need more than a fits-in-the-box God.

Perhaps we’re a little afraid of the concept of “more.” What if we find that God is no larger than our box? No greater than our previous encounters with Him? What if He is only “fun-sized”?

 His Word says He is more than we can imagine. History reports this as well. Old Testament to current texts record moves of God that are more than we’ve ever known. Previous generations detail experiences of people who have seen Him perform miracles and even seen the misty Presence the Israelites followed through their wanderings in the desert. Remember the Mercy seat contained in Moses’ tabernacle and God’s visible presence—the Shekinah Glory—that rested there? All of this is because God desires to be known by His people in a measure that they can’t box up. In a measure that won’t neatly fit under the bed.

 I assure you: there is more of God than room inside our boxes. Moreover, we need more of God than that. Our notions of “just enough” are not remotely enough. We need the fullness of His presence.

Join me in asking for God to do more. More than we’ve seen in the past. More than fits in our box. More than makes us feel comfy. Will you join me in praying Habukuk 3:2?

 

“Lord, I have heard of your fame;
    I stand in awe of your deeds, Lord.
Repeat them in our day,
    in our time make them known;
    in wrath remember mercy.”

Lessons from Tornado Alley

I’m from the south. I’m used to humidity and tropical storms. You know, those big monsters that morph into hurricanes? You know days in advance whether they are headed your way. Then, if you are like me, you evacuate and “ride” the storm out some place else where you still have a/c and electricity, but you don’t receive much thunder or lightening.


Years ago, thanks to Uncle Sam, I found myself living in Tornado Alley. (In case you didn’t know, tornadoes come up suddenly with little to no advance warning. “Evacuation” typically includes running to a closet in the middle of your house.) Imagine my feelings when a tornado warning found me huddled in dark closet with an infant in one arm and a toddler on my lap.

Something about being snatched up and pulled into a small space in the middle of a thunderstorm made my toddler lose it. This, of course, sparked tears from my infant. Honestly, I felt like doing the same. Thanks to my habit of storm “fleeing,” I’d never really been through any severe weather.

I started searching my memory for a worship song to sing to calm my frightened boys—and myself—but couldn’t remember a note of any of the choruses we’d just sung at church on Sunday. The only songs I could remember were the oldies I had learned as a child—the same ones I had hated as a teenager because of their “old-fashioned” sound. At that moment, however, I was thrilled to grasp and hold onto the promises the lyrics those older songs held.

The song that calmed two little boys and one quivering mama:

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus

There’s just something about that Name

Master, Savior, Jesus

Like the frangrance after the rain

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus

Let all heaven and earth proclaim

King and kingdoms shall all pass away

But there’s just something about that name

Some ten years later, I still think back to the lesson I learned while cowering in the path of that storm: old is not the same as useless. Worship comes in many sounds. From hymns all the way down to contemporary choruses. The older music, hymns especially, is a part of our church history and younger generations can be taught to appreciate it.

Because you just never know what will comfort you during the storm.


Link to song quoted above: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SULXKJR3AoQ&feature=related
A more recent worship song I enjoy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YbGgA2lIDjc

Floodgates of Heaven

If you recall, in my last entry, Doors and Windows, I explained that our attempt to adopt through foster care had led to a closed door. I expressed my hope that when God closes a door He really does open a window of opportunity.

Just a few short days after writing the entry, God opened a door we were not expecting. More accurately, He threw open the floodgates of heaven.

Here’s the news: Our family will be adding a new member in October. We’re having a baby! He has granted us the desire of our heart and has not withheld the request of our lips!! (Psalms 21:2)

Still waiting on the Lord to bring you to the next point in your journey? One of the things that stick out to me from the Psalms is that God hears our prayers. (Ps 34:15, Ps 10:17, Ps 145:19—just to list a few.) Be confident in this: God hears the prayers of His people. In other words, He hears when we pray, cry, whisper, scream, laugh, or talk to Him. He does not turn a deaf ear to His children.

Keep pursuing Him. May He bring us all into the fullness of His presence.


*All babies are a reason to rejoice, but if you’re wondering at the story surrounding this one, here’s a link to a very brief snapshot of our journey the last couple of years.* http://maranathamama.blogspot.com/2011/07/waiting.html

Doors and Windows

Ever heard the saying, “When God closes a door, He opens a window?” I’m believing that’s true!

One of the biggest struggles I’ve faced since we started discussing adoption is how to know we’re following God’s will. I had to learn to trust that He wouldn’t let us make a mistake. I still haven’t mastered that yet—but I have found He is faithful to keep us from paths that aren’t of His choosing.

Unfortunately, sometimes that also means I am kept from pursuing the paths of my choosing—and while I know that is best in the long run, it still can be hard to accept.

That’s a pretty long and rambling introduction, isn’t it? Well, here’s the short version: since we began our foster to adopt journey, our local agency is no longer looking for foster to adopt homes. They are seeking foster families only. Although a foster situation could eventually lead to an adoption, we decided at the outset that fostering wasn’t an option for our family at this point.

What now? I have no idea. We’re just continuing to trust that God has a plan and that He’s going to point us in the right direction at the right time.

The Accuser

I have a monster that follows me around—and I don’t even have a two-year-old anymore! Guilt is, for me, an ever-present nuisance. My guess is that I’m not the only parent with this problem.

Honestly, I had no concept of guilt before having children. Now I worry every day about…everything! One of my constant guilt-producers is this: Did I spend enough time with my kids today? (Makes perfect sense, right? I mean, I’m a homeschooling mom. I spend every minute with them. I’m here to tell you—guilt doesn’t have to make sense.)

Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.” One definition of “condemned” is to be found guilty. So in other words, “There is no guilt for those who are in Christ Jesus!”

Why not?

Well, Romans 8 goes on to say in verse 2, “Because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death.”

We’re free from guilt because, as Christians, we have entered into the law of the Spirit of life and are free—free from the spirit of sin and death and the guilt that law brings with it. Verses three and four explain that guilt is meant to bring unbelievers to the Lord. Since we have already believed in the Lord Jesus Christ, we no longer have need of guilty feelings.

So why do I still battle so much guilt?

The enemy of our souls, Satan, is referred to in Revelation as “the accuser” (Rev. 12:10). If you have—like me—watched too many Law and Order episodes, you know that accuser is the one hurling accusations, blame, and guilt.

Satan loves guilt-tripping us for every little slip-up—real and irrational—we could ever imagine making.

However, Satan is a liar! He is not capable of speaking truth. (John 8:44b: “…There is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for there is no truth in him.”)

That guilt that hovers around you and whispers to you at quiet moments—the voice that says, “I’m not good enough” or “I’m not doing enough” or “I’ll never get it right” or…whatever else—is the Accuser trying to make you crack. He wants you focused on what you’re doing wrong, instead of what God is doing (and wants to do) through you.

What now?

God’s Word is your ally. Memorize a verse or two to wield against the Accuser and when he attacks, speak the truth to him and to yourself.

For example, Ps. 31:4 is a prayer that says, “Free me from the trap that is set for me, for you (God) are my refuge.” I also like to change the verb tense and tell the Accuser a thing or two. Like this, “I am freed from the trap of guilt that you set for me, for God is my refuge!”

May we heed God’s conviction and ignore the Accuser’s guilt!